i survived round 1...i think

ok, so today has been the first day i felt like myself again since round one of the chemo. i didnt want to blog before this because i was hoping i would just feel better soon. and i do.

so chemo was thursday, that day i felt pretty normal, just emotionally drained from the day. friday...whoooooo friday. i really dont have much memory of friday at all. well i have memories of some weird stuff that was happening that i can only attribute to the anti nausea medicine i was on and i wasnt really eating that much. i basically was in and out of consiousness all day and said some weird things to people via texts, emails, phone, and oh yes, i wrote my last blog post while basically intoxicated on these meds. chris mentioned it might be a good idea for me to wait a day or two before blogging. i think that's a good decision.

then saturday, i felt a little better, but still quite nausous and zero energy. for example, i took a shower and needed to take a two hour nap afterwards because it took so much out of me. then i was basically useless that whole day. chris thought it would be a good idea to at least get me out of the house, so we went over to petco and bought a beta fish and named him sammie. i'm actually glad we did this, it's nice to have a little company during the day and watching a fish swim around is actually quite calming.

then it was sunday, mothers day, we went down the cape and had brunch with my family, after this adventure i needed a big time nap. oh and also this was the first day i started to experience dry mouth. when i say dry mouth i mean a feeling that i had like canqers all over my mouth or something, it was riciculously uncomfortable and i didnt know what was going on. i called dr. bhatt and she recomended a dry mouth wash, which helped with the problem and has since gone away. then sunday night the brady's came over and made us mac and cheese. god i love mac and cheese.

monday i tried to not take any medicine since most of the directions we had been given were to only take them for 2-3 days after chemo and i in general dont like taking perscription drugs. i made it most of the day but then when chris got home from work we took a ride to cvs and it really wiped me out and i started to feel sick again, so i took one pill that night, then i felt fine.

then yesterday, tuesday. i had an interesting situation. so most of those that know me know that i hate washing my hair, i do it basically because society tells me i need to, but in general i hate the process, it takes forever, i have curly hair but i like it straight, which takes a while, i just hate it. so you can imagine how much i have been reveling in not really having to make myself presentable, or wash my hair, or do really anything for that matter, because let's face it, i have cancer, who's going to say something to me? so yesterday it was getting obscene with my hair so i had to wash it. i got in the shower and while i was washing my hair i had to like concentrate on breathing because i was starting to feel so sick. i rushed through the process and got out of the shower, i really thought i was going to throw up, which i havent done yet, but we all know that feeling. i sat on the bathroom floor for like five minutes until this passed, then i felt fine.

eating has been weird, i like havent really been hungry at all, but i know i need to eat consistently so i have just been basically making meals at the same time everyday. it's weird i feel better once i eat, but it doesnt come with that hungry feeling. and for someone that has basically been hungry her whole life, this is a weird change.

it's so weird, i never really thought of myself as an 'energetic' person, but this thing is really kicking my ass. well i shouldnt put it like that because that makes it sound like i'm letting it get the best of me, which i'm not, but man, this really sucks. i have to take breathers after showering? i cant even go for like a 20 minute walk without feeling like i'm going to die when it's over? but, i have no choice but to think positive. this will get better with every round, my body will adjust and every time it will take less and less time to recover.